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ll a mystery
We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book
Because the thought of “I will be all alone down here” is just too much for us to bear But at the end of the day,
the fact that we show up for each other in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing 411
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth At least, that’s what they say
He created the birds of the air and the beast of the fields
And he looked at his creation, and he thought that it was good And then, God created the man
And it has been down hell ever since
The story goes on to say the God created the man as his own image But there’s not much prove of that
After all, the God made the sun the moon and the stars And all man makes is trouble
And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself To love or fate or religion To make sense of it at all
But for a surgeon, the only thing that makes any kind of sense is medicine
As doctors, we know more about the human body now than at any other point in our history
But the miracle of life itself—why people live and die, why they hurt or get hurt—is still a mystery
We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book
Because the thought of “I will be all alone down here” is just too much for us to bear But at the end of the day
The fact that we show up for each other, in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing 412
I like to think that we are rational beings
Humaning, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful But when things fall apart, even just a little It becomes clear, we are no better than animals We think, we walk direct, we speak, we dream
But deep down, we are all still ruing around in the primordial woops
Fighting, lying, scratching out the existence in the cold dark world like the rest of tree toads' slots
Chief: Stevens, my year, I lost by 2 points, you didn’t invent the contest. The contest is a lion fight, so chin up, put your shoulders back, walk proud, strut a little. Don’t make
your wounds, celebrate them, the scar you bear are the sign of competitor, you’re in a lion fight, Stevens, just because you didn’t win doesn’t mean you don’t know how to rule.
There is a little animal in all of us
And maybe that’s something to celebrate
Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, warm, and a part run with We may feel caged, we may feel trapped
But still, as humans, we can find ways to feel free We are each other’s keepers
We are the guardians of our own humanity And even though there’s a beast inside all of us
What sets us apart from animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love And against our lost, against our instincts We evolve. 413
Great surgeons aren’t made, they are born
It takes gestation, incubation, sacrifice, a lot of sacrifice
But after all the blood and guts, some goop stuff are washed away That’s the surgeon you become Totally worth it
Giving birth maybe all in tense and magical in stuff But act itself, it’s not exactly pleasant
But it’s also a beginning of something incredible Something new
Something unpredictable Something true
Something worth loving Something worth missing
Something that will change your life, forever There’s this person, in my head She’s brilliant, capable
She can do chest tubes and craniotomies She can run a cope without freaking out
She’s a really good surgeon, maybe even a great surgeon She’s me, only so much better
It was a good day, maybe even a great day I was a good doctor, even when it was hard I was the me in my head
There was a moment when I thought I can’t do this I can’t do this alone
But I close my eyes, and imagined myself doing it And I did, I block out the fear, and I did it 415
The problem with being a resident is you feel crazy all the time You haven’t slept in years
You spend everyday around the people in the nest of crisis Use your ability to judge what’s normal In yourself or anyone else
And yet people are constantly asking you to tell them how they are doing How the hell you suppose to know?
You don’t even know how you are doing Don’t wonder why people go crazy Wonder why they don’t
And face of all we can lose in a day In an instant
Wonder what the hell it is That make us hold together
Cristina, I could promise, to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise, to be there in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us apart. But I won't.
Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope.
And I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful, I am sure, I am steady.
And I know, I'm a heart man, take them apart, put them back together, I hold them in my hands.
I am a heart man.
So this, I am sure, you are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart beats for you.
And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this, I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you, ME.
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