(完整版)2017年11月浙江省高考英语读后续写试题分析及范例点评

而误用，如将“our sweet house”与“our sweet home”混淆；有的则是对词汇的搭配和惯用法掌握不到位，如“determined her mind”；有的则可能是受汉语思维的影响，“直译”为英语后意义不清，如“found something”（应为“found something missing”）；有的则是简单的拼写错误，如“bagger”。有意思的是，本篇习作虽然有不少问题，但考生并没有对语言做刻意的变化追求，总体上而言相当自然，文气较为通畅，以上这些错误对意义的传达并不产生大的影响，不至于过分损及交际任务的完成。本篇习作共产出139词（不含开头语），应用了8个关键词语，语句结构与词汇富于变化，连接手段有效，较好地满足了任务的要求，是一篇合格的作文，建议判第三档的高分。 [学生习作4]

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. Until then， it hadn’t shown any advantages yet. David and I felt deeply upset about the travel. It didn’t seem like camping or travelling but worrying about Mom all the time. The decisions she made and the actions she did must be taken good care of. However， Mom was lighted and was ready to continue the trip. She didn’t say any words about the tent， even though Dad had mentioned it many times. Without any hesitation， we continued the trip. She drove happily， while

David and I sat quietly behind.

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. It had been several times that my brother screamed out “What a fantastic scenery！” The trip became more interesting. I began to talk with Mom and Dad. I felt warmth through Mom’s excited voice. We smiled and laughed along the way. With the wonderful sights beside us， we all enjoyed the trip. That day， I realized that my mom was actually the nicest person in the world. It was her that brought light to our lives. 点评4

这篇习作内容上与所给短文关系密切，与所提供各段落开头语也有很好的衔接，写出了较多内容，文气基本连贯，但语言上存在较多错误。语言上的问题，最为突出的是多数语句系由中文“直译”而来却又并不明白所用词语的真正含义，如续写部分的第一句“Until then， it hadn’t shown any advantages yet”，须由英文硬译回汉语才能明白考生所想表达的意思（“直到那时，帐篷都还没有派过用场”――意思表达不清的主要原因应该是“until”一词的意义与用法没有掌握）。其他如“It didn’t seem like camping or travelling but worrying about Mom all the time”“The decisions she made and the actions she did must be taken good care of”“I felt warmth through Mom’s excited voice”都存在同样的问题。除此以

外，习作某些词语（如“Without any hesitation”）的使用有“生拉硬拽”之嫌，导致语言逻辑不当。当然，其他习作中所存在的普通语言问题，也存在于本篇习作中，如词汇误用（如“lighted”应为“delighted”之误）、语法错误（如“What a fantastic scenery”）等，但总体而言，这一类问题较少。本篇习作产出166词（不含开头语），应用了5个短文中标出的关键词语，全文内容基本连贯，故事设计虽然没有出彩之处，也没有思想上的升华，但也合情合理，语言上，意义传达虽然受到一点影响，但基本完成了交际任务，可考虑判第三档中段。 [学生习作5]

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. David like the tent very much. He like sleeping in the tent. We can sleep in the tent. And we can not found the place to sleep. But mom still said it is a trouble. she always wanted to find a vacancy to sleep. But I thinked. the tent is great. I could see stars and the moon when I sleep in the tent. And I can look around the nation.

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. I like the trip very much. I could see a funny mom and a funny dad They always didn’t agree another. And I also saw many beatiful views. I like this views. Than we

visited our grand Parents. They were healthy. And they can play games with us. We lived at grand parents’ house some days. Then we baced our home. I lived the vacation with my mother. ?c评5

这篇习作与所给短文融洽度较高，与所提供各段落开头语也有很好的衔接，写出了较多内容，文气基本连贯。情节内容方面，习作思想较为简单，平铺直叙，有点“流水账”的感觉，但除了如“They always didn’t agree another”这样个别有点感觉突兀的地方外，总体上应该说还是合理的。语言上，本篇习作问题较多。首先，语句面貌显得简陋，除了两三个句子外，所有语句都是简单句。其次，语法错误较多，如时、体、态方面的错误（“like”“can”“can not found”“is”等），词的屈折变化形式错误（“thinked”），介词错误（“she always wanted to find a vacancy to sleep”）等。再次，词汇错误比较突出，如大小写错误（“mom”“grand Parents”“she always wanted”）、拼写错误（“Than”“baced”“grand Parents”）、词义错误（“lived”“vacancy”）、记忆错误（“nation”应为“nature”之误）、用法错误（“agree another”）等。此外还有标点错误（如“I could see a funny mom and a funny dad”后缺句号）。这些问题中有不少（如“look around the nation”“we baced our home”）导致了意义的传达受到较为严重的影响。本篇习作共产出139词（不含开头语），使用了5个短文中标出的关