(完整版)2017年11月浙江省高考英语读后续写试题分析及范例点评

“glimpse”与“glance”，“living”与“staying”，“grass”与“lawn”的区别；一些词的词性与用法掌握不精，如用“had already lain”来表达“躺在；已经躺下”的概念（应为“had already lain down”或“were already lying”）；等等。但总体而言，这些问题对意义传达影响不大。当然，如能将这些问题修正，同时调整一些语句（如将“always cast a glimpse”改为“kept glancing”等），则将更加完善。本篇习作词汇与语法结构较为丰富，语句间连接成分有效，标点准确。习作产出188词（不含开头语），应用了5个关键词语，写出了较多内容。根据本次考试考生的总体情况，本篇习作建议判为第五档。 [学生习作2]

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. The reason was that we couldn’t find a hotel， meaning that our tent had to be used and Mom’s dream came true. Unexpectedly， David noticed that Mon disappeared after dinner. Eventually， it was Dad that found Mom. This absent-minded and forgetful woman explained that she just wanted to seek some charming flowers but got lost finally. However， thanks to Mom， we found a new way with more beautiful views where she got lost.

We drove through several states and saw lots of great

sights along the way. All of a sudden， as driving， Mom asked， “Where is our camping equipment？” In the end， we had to accept the fact that we ought to return to find it left by Mom. In that time， I thought this trip was in a mess because of Mom. But it’s obvious for me today that our trip should have been boring without this loving and sweet lady. There is no person even a wise lady that can match her， my loving， sweet， yet absent-minded and forgetful mom. 点评2

这篇习作产出159词（不含开头语），应用了8个关键词语，与短文融洽度较高，尽管续写部分与段落开头语的衔接不能称之为紧密，但总体而言仍然是合理的。故事情节上，本篇习作与上篇一样，有出乎意料却合乎情理的设计，将目光放在母亲的粗心所带来的好结果上，做了翻案文章，既与所给短文紧密衔接，也使第二段的情感抒发显得自然。语言上，习作意义传达基本清楚，对语法结构和词汇的丰富性、准确性有较好的注意，文气总体较为流畅。应该说，这篇习作还是比较顺利地完成了交际任务。尤其值得指出的是，习作不但注意到了词汇的丰富性，而且能够针对不同的意义与情感表达需要来变换词汇（如说母亲“absent-minded and forgetful”时用的是“woman”，说她“loving and sweet”时用了“lady”，最后把这两类品质结合，用了“mom”），这在

考生习作中是不多见的。另外值得称赞的是，本篇习作注意了使用不同语法形式来表达意义（如“it’s obvious for me today”中现在时的使用和“our trip should have been boring”中情态助动词与完成体的结合等）。当然，与上一篇习作相比，本篇问题稍稍突出一些，主要表现在以下几个方面：一是对词句意义与语篇意义的联系注意不够，如第一段的“The reason was ...”和“meaning ...”、第二段的“All of a sudden， as driving”等，让读者感觉不好理解；二是对语法结构的意义把握不准，导致意义发生偏差，如“it was Dad that found Mom”（或许是不恰当追求“高大上”的结果）；三是低级语法错误导致意义不清，如“There is no person even a wise lady that can match her”；四是有少?S不应该出现的拼写方面的错误，如“Mon”。但是，总体而言，习作中所出现的问题对意义传达的影响并不突出，长短相较，应该说本篇习作在本次浙江省高考英语中属于较好的一篇，可考虑判为第四档。 [学生习作3]

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. It seemed that we wouldn’t get any chance to use it. Just when we felt tough to deal with it， a bagger came into our sight. Mom soon came up with an idea that we should give it to him. But the tent was really new and it costed us a lot. Despite Dad， David and I’s objection， Mom determined her

mind and gave it to the bagger， which means we couldn’t do camping anymore.

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. The trip was wonderful and we really had a nice time in my grandparents’ house. Time flow so swiftly that we couldn’t notice it. After we finished our trip and came back to our sweet house， Mom suddenly found something while checking the baggage. She whispered： “Where was the tent？” That’s my Mom， a really nice person but also a forgetful and absent-minded woman. ?c评3

这篇习作延续所给短文情节，围绕帐篷和母亲的健忘续写，与所给短文融洽度高，与所提供的开头语衔接非常紧密，故事设计符合逻辑，虽然总体上以说明性语言为主，但也有一定的描述性语言，而且有的还相当生动，如“She whispered： ‘Where was the tent？’”一句，使读者有如闻其声之感。但在语言运用上，本篇习作问题较多。语法方面，有时态错误（如“which means”“Where was the tent？”）、动词屈折变化错误（如“it costed”“Time flow”）、限定词错误（如“Dad， David and I’s objection”“an idea that ...”）、介词错误（如“in my grandparents’ house”）、代词错误（如“felt”与“tough”之间缺失“it”）等。词汇方面，有些词由于意义理解不准确