搞笑英文话剧剧本（三打白骨精）

搞笑英文话剧剧本

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆 B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map! E: (摸出，递给S)

S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain! Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So. S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,

I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤). S: Hm!

T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away….. T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看） E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it! T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power! S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1) B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three

people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb! T: Bomb?(打出) B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teachme!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打) B1: （倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher! S: She is a monster! T: Nonsense!(深呼吸) S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)

S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2) E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊) S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster! T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!! S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》 E: Master, brother Monkey is.......

T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T: （惊）You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退) B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha...... S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later. T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey! J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance

into three shapes in order to cheat you! T: How,how did you find out? S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉) N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police. N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声) S: What? T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!( 歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse. E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.

J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out. T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out. T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year

go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet. T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet.....

英语话剧剧本The Bus

A Story about Love and Stinky Feet

5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。 Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui Boy B,Old woman, Scene One

(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)

Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.

(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)

Female student A: We should find a seat for her.

Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her. (The two boys continue to sleep.)

Female student C: We should find a seat for her. Female students A & B: Yes.

(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)

Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?

(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)

Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?

Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep) Female student C: What should we do? Female student B: Let's ask the other boy. Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah! All: (startled)Ah!

Female student B: What happened? Female student C: Why did you scream? Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.

Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady? (Boy B falls asleep.)

Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady? Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while? Female student A: Well, we've tried.

Female student B: The young man is really brash.

Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)

Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy. (The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)

Boy A: Oh! Are you OK? Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!

Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat) Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.

Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners. Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.

Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired. (At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.) Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.

Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.

(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.) Scene Two

(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)

Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right?